Humor writer needed 2009 jobs

We are experiencing issue with configuration of multicast routing on Huawei CE6850. Solution will be probably something trivial. I can share configuration and/or give remote access. Multicast routing is used for live IPTV streaming in production enviroment. Used protocols are PIM-SM and IGMP. Your ability to quickly identify the issue and implement a suitable solution will be crucial in this project.

I'm in need of an SEO expert who can assist me in building a high-sales generating website for my carpet cleaning business. Please note that I'm looking for a business partner rather than just a service provider, with the expectation that we will share the profits. Watch this before you send me a quote. Key Goals: - Increase Website Traffic: The site should attract and engage a significant number of visitors. - Improve Website Conversion Rate: Conversion optimization is crucial - we need visitors to turn into paying customers. - Rank High on Search Engine Results: The site should be SEO-optimized to reach a top position in search engine rankings. Key Information for Applicants: - Please share your past work, particularly in SEO, website building, and e-commerce. - I'm ...

I'm in search of video editors who can edit my YouTube videos. The videos are generally between 5 to 10 minutes long and are of the Educational/Informative style. Key Requirements: - Editing experience: I'm looking for professionals who have experience in editing videos for YouTube. - Creative mindset: You need to be able to create engaging videos that keep the viewers interested. - Background in educational/informative content: Experience working with this style of content is highly preferred. Additional Elements: - Background Music: Appropriate background music needs to be added to maintain viewer interest. - On-Screen Text: Clear, concise and engaging text needs to be included to enhance the educational aspect. - Animation/Graphics: This would be a bonus. It can help to ill...

I am in need of a skilled front-end web developer proficient in HTML, CSS and JavaScript. Adorn my website with interactive elements and captivating image sliders that breathe life into its user interaction. A keen eye that appreciates bold and vibrant aesthetics is a must. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Expert knowledge in HTML, CSS, JavaScript - Experience designing and implementing interactive website elements - Ability to execute a bold and vibrant design style - Proven background in delivering visually appealing image sliders. Should these skills resonate with your expertise, don't hesitate to place your bid. Let's create a dynamic online experience together!

We are in need of an expert with extensive experience in CLEAR POS Point of Sales (POS) systems running on Windows. The system has an inventory with over 500 products. The primary functionality I require assistance with includes inventory management, sales tracking, and store to website syncing.. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in Windows-based POS systems - Prior experience working on Clear POS () - Ability to streamline and optimize POS processes with website ecommerce Check the attachment for further details. Be sure to add CPOS12 to your bid or it will be considered spam , ignored and removed.

As a business owner, I'm looking to hire an expert in SEO and website improvement. The main goals for this project are to increase website traffic, improve search engine rankings, enhance user interface and experience. Key Responsibilities: - Conduct a comprehensive audit of our current SEO and website - Provide a detailed analysis of the website's current performance - Identify areas of improvement for SEO and user experience - Develop and implement a new SEO strategy that will increase website traffic and improve search engine rankings - Work on enhancing the user interface and experience - Improve the quality of the website content. The ideal candidate for this project should have: - A proven track record in SEO and website improvement - Strong analytical skills - Excellent...

I'm looking for a writer with a seasoned mastery in the art of poetry. The task at hand is creating unique, emotive pieces that convey a wide range of emotions, depths, and nuances. Key requirements: - Significant experience in poetry - Ability to convey emotion and provoke thought through writing - Proficient in English, understanding of poetic techniques and styles - Can produce content that requires minimal editing This project will require you to show your creativity in a manner that resounds with varying audience groups. If you have a flair for crafting lines that tug at heartstrings, this job might just be for you. Please provide some examples of your work when submitting a bid.

I'm in need of a proficient writer to assist me in creating my fiction book. This project will incorporate a first person narrative, so a skillful hand in this particular writing style is essential. Duties will include: - Building engaging, storytelling content. - Ensuring the creation of charming, believable characters. - Ensuring that the narrative aligns with the desired first person perspective. Ideal skills for the role: - Significant experience in fiction writing. - Previous success in incorporating first person narrative. - Creativity in building compelling stories.

I'm looking for a dynamic and capable programmer who is able to work with multiple programming languages. While I haven't specified a language of choice, versatile coding abilities are crucial for this project's success. Key Experience: - A breadth of experience across multiple programming languages is critical. - Preferably, candidates will have years of overall programming experience. Application Requirements: - When applying, please include a comprehensive rundown of your experience in coding and programming, particularly highlighting your range across multiple languages. The perfect candidate for this job will have broad experience and an adaptable skillset. We have a project that needa additional functions adding. Thank you

I'm looking for a diligent and experienced real estate cold caller to help me generate leads. The focus of this role will be on: - Reaching out to homeowners and For Sale By Owner (FSBO) listings. - Targeting a specific county in my region. The ideal candidate for this project should have: - Previous experience in real estate cold calling. - Proficiency in lead generation - Ability to communicate in clear natural sounding English - Excellent communication and negotiation skills. - Ability to work autonomously and deliver results. - Ability to communicate in clear natural sounding English This will be a part-time engagement, with the expectation of 10-20 hours per week. The goal is to bring in a steady stream of high-quality leads for potential real estate transactions.

Description: I am looking for a talented embroidery designer to help create a unique baseball hat design themed around the concept of a swamp. The project is to produce a realistic-looking hat design with embroidered text that says "Swamp Stank". Requirements: Design Theme: The hat should have a deep swamp green color, incorporating textures and elements that resemble a dense swamp environment, such as moss, wet leaves, and cypress tree stumps. The curved brim should appear slightly ragged, emulating wear from a swampy area. Text Embroidery: The text "Swamp Stank" should be featured prominently on the front of the hat. The embroidery should use a bold, raised, moss-like textured thread. The font should mimic irregular, organic shapes, similar to tangled roots or v...

I need a PHP expert to integrate PayPal into my website for one-time payments. The system should ideally support multiple international currencies. Key requirements: - Integration with PayPal: The freelancer should have extensive experience with integrating PayPal into websites. - PHP expertise: The project requires a solid understanding of PHP to ensure the integration is smooth and effective. - International currency support: The ideal candidate will have experience in configuring PayPal to support multiple international currencies, as this is a key requirement for the project. Please share your relevant experience and a clear plan on how you intend to approach this project.

Please see attached pictures. I need the banners to say: - 3X Champions (not 5X) - Replace the "Pittsburgh Penguins" text and Penguin logo with "Rain City Bitch Pigeons" and use the attached logo - Change the year from 2017 to 2024 - Change the years 1991 1992 2009 2016 2017 to 2019 2023 2024

I am seeking an experienced C programmer to assist in the implementation of the Inpainting Interpolation Algorithm into my existing application. Key Requirements: - Implementing the Inpainting Interpolation Algorithm - Working with images as the primary input - Generating enhanced images as output The ideal candidate will possess: - Proficiency in C programming language - Strong background in image processing and manipulation - Experience with algorithm implementation - Prior knowledge of Inpainting Interpolation Algorithm would be a plus I have to implement algorithm described here : into my own function. I will share more informations in a DM

I'm seeking a versatile call agent capable of juggling several tasks. Your daily responsibilities will span from answering inquiries to making outbound calls and taking sales orders. You’ll be primarily dealing with both business and individual customers - hence, excellent communication skills are a must. All-rounders who can handle product details, order status, and customer complaints proficiently will be an ideal fit. This job requires a keen eye for detail, sales and customer service expertise; multitasking proficiency is a must. Previous call center experience will be an advantage.

I'm in search of a skilled graphic designer with a wide range of design capabilities. As this project is quite open-ended, I need someone who can go with the flow, adapt and create stunning visuals for different applications. Key assignments may include logo, banner and brochure design, but are not limited to these. Key Skills & Experience We're Looking for: • Logo Design • Banner Design • Brochure Design • Flexibility in Design Styles • Creativity and Innovation • Attention to Details Before bidding, kindly ensure that you: • Showcase your past work • Describe relevant experience • Present a detailed project proposal The deadline for this project isn't set yet, indicating the need for a dedicated, committed, and reliable...

I’m in need of an Adobe Photoshop expert to take on a one time task. While certain tasks were not specified, capabilities in photo retouching, graphic design, and image manipulation should be within your skillset to cover any potential requirements. While the final output expectations aren't defined yet, having knowledge to provide formatted images ready for publication, creating layered Photoshop files, and automating tools or scripts in Photoshop would be helpful. Please detail your experience and skills that make you a perfect match for this project.

...the ones matching, also to include suggestions Preset filters based on hashtags on each blog and a dropdown to look into more List of blogs in three types of views: Cards, listicle and carousal - The individual blog page should have the following: A menu bar: Blogs button (to route the user back to the /blogs page), shop button (to route to /shops), About us (to route to /about-us) A title with writer name A carousal of slides which gives a short read to the blog Article starts with the letter T from the logo of Kalataru The article should have social media share links under it, with comments below The article should have interesting places to post ads The article will have: the blog, a featured image, inline images and carousal images Any new blog should be easy to add from the...

I'm looking for an experienced digital marketing specialist to manage our marketing strategies for our business email platform. Key Responsibilities: - Implementing and optimizing the current SEO strategies - Managing and creating content for social media marketing - Analyzing campaign performance and making data-driven adjustments Main Goals: - Increase brand awareness - Generate leads Target Audience: - Small business owners - Business email users This role requires someone with a deep understanding of SEO, social media marketing, and email campaigns. Experience in B2B marketing and lead generation is a big plus. I'm looking for someone who's creative, analytical, and results-oriented. If you've got a proven track record in digital marketing and a passion for hel...

I'm looking for a skilled writer who's well-versed in writing engaging social media content. This content will primarily be for our Facebook profile. Key Requirements: - Strong writing skills: The writer should be able to craft compelling content that resonates with our target audience. - Familiarity with Facebook: Prior experience in writing for Facebook or managing a Facebook page would be a plus. - Creativity: The ability to come up with unique and innovative content ideas is crucial. - Understanding of Social Media: A solid comprehension of what type of content performs well on social media. The ideal candidate should be able to help us create quality content that drives engagement and boosts our brand visibility. Prior experience in writing for social media i...

As the title suggests, I am in need of a highly engaging PowerPoint presentation developer with experience in creating visually appealing business presentations. Key Requirements: - I am looking for a designer who can create a visually interesting and engaging presentation using animations and graphics. - The color scheme should be a neutral and professional tone. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven track record in designing engaging and professional PowerPoint presentations. - Proficient in utilizing animations and graphics to enhance the visual appeal of the presentation. - Experience with maintaining a consistent color scheme throughout the presentation.

As the developer of an existing project written in Python, SQL Server, and MongoDB, I am currently facing a challenge. A logical error in the code is causing a bug, and I need an expert to fix it. High-level summary of the code- 1. Fetch records from SQL server ( total 680000 records) 2. Apply face recognition on each record 3. Insert the response from step 2 in MongoDB along with other data from the SQL server Issue- The existing code is currently doing steps 1 & 2 and performing step 3 at last when face recognition is applied on all records. Due to this it step 3 is waiting to complete the step 1 & 2. Expectation- After fetching each record from SQL server, the code should apply face recognition and then store the data in MongoDB immediately. I will share my screen through te...

I'm looking for a skilled writer who's well-versed in writing engaging social media content. This content will primarily be for our Facebook profile. Key Requirements: - Strong writing skills: The writer should be able to craft compelling content that resonates with our target audience. - Familiarity with Facebook: Prior experience in writing for Facebook or managing a Facebook page would be a plus. - Creativity: The ability to come up with unique and innovative content ideas is crucial. - Understanding of Social Media: A solid comprehension of what type of content performs well on social media. The ideal candidate should be able to help us create quality content that drives engagement and boosts our brand visibility. Prior experience in writing for social media i...

I'm seeking a capable writer to conduct a literature review on the topic of creativity and children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). I have completed the rest of my work, and I understand the crucial role of a literature review in providing a comprehensive understanding of the topic. The ideal candidate for this project should be: - Proficient in conducting literature reviews - Experienced in academic writing I have found two pieces of work that are sufficient enough and only need roughly 1200 words. My budget is £15. Key tasks include: - Identifying and reviewing a range of academic sources related to creativity and children with SEND - Summarizing and synthesising key findings from these sources - Ensuring that the review is structured and pre...

I'm seeking a capable writer to conduct a literature review on the topic of creativity and children with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (SEND). I have completed the rest of my work, and I understand the crucial role of a literature review in providing a comprehensive understanding of the topic. The ideal candidate for this project should be: - Proficient in conducting literature reviews - Experienced in academic writing I have found two pieces of work that are sufficient enough and only need roughly 1200 words. My budget is £15. Key tasks include: - Identifying and reviewing a range of academic sources related to creativity and children with SEND - Summarizing and synthesising key findings from these sources - Ensuring that the review is structured and pre...

I'm in need of a skilled video editor to help refine my faceless video content. Your primary tasks will be cutting and trimming the footage and adding bold, eye-catching text and captions. Key Responsibilities: - Trim and clean up raw video footage - Incorporate bold and eye-catching text and captions - Ensure the video maintains a professional and engaging feel throughout Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience with video editing, particularly with faceless content - Proficiency in using video editing software - Strong attention to detail and a keen eye for design - Ability to prioritize and meet deadlines - Good communication skills to understand my preferences and incorporate them accurately Your work will be crucial in bringing my vision to life, so I'm looking for...

Talobeeg Foundation would like to to respond to IOM's call for proposals and need a skilled proposal writer to create a comprehensive and technical document for our Community Mobilization through Mobile Technologies in Somalia within the Somalia context. Focusing on youth and community engagement, this proposal will serve to bridge the gap between digital technologies and social development. Key Responsibilities: - Create an in-depth proposal with a focus on the integration of mobile applications, crowdfunding, and gaming into our initiative. - Address the importance of education and training programs and the use of social media and online platforms for awareness campaigns in driving youth and community engagement. SCOPE OF CONSULTING SERVICES REQUESTED: 1. Crowdfunding p...

...talented resume writer to revamp my resume, tailoring it to the Canadian job market. The resume should be targeted towards the Content Writing industry, specifically for the position of a Content Writer. Key highlights for the project: - **Resume Rewrite:** The primary goal is to rewrite my existing resume to make it more appealing and impactful for potential employers in the Canadian Content Writing field. - **Canadian Job Market Expertise:** Understanding of the Canadian job market and what employers in the Content Writing industry look for is crucial. - **Content Writing Industry Knowledge:** Prior experience in the Content Writing industry, either as a writer or working closely with such professionals, is highly desired. Ideal freelancer: - **Professional Res...

I'm seeking a talented script writer to develop a script for a desktop application focused on content management. Key Points: - The script should be engaging and compelling. It has to be tailored for desktop applications, keeping in mind the medium's characteristics and audience. - The target software is a Content Management System (CMS), hence the script should be easy to understand and navigate for users who are managing content. - The script has to be designed for software, not a movie or a play. This means it needs to be technically detailed and efficient for users. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in script writing in the software industry, especially for desktop applications. - Understanding of Content Management Systems (CMS) and their functionalit...

I'm seeking a proficient grant writer, specifically with experience in securing private foundation grants. The primary goal of the grant I'm aiming to secure is funding for a specific project that focuses on environmental causes. Key Responsibilities: - Research and identify suitable private foundation grants for environmental projects - Develop and write grant proposals tailored to the specific requirements of each grant - Ensure the proposals clearly articulate the project's relevance to environmental causes, and its potential impact Ideal Candidate: - Previous experience in successfully securing private foundation grants for environmental projects - Strong research and analytical skills to identify appropriate grant opportunities - Excellent writing skills, with...

I'm looking for an experienced developer to create a desktop application for Windows. This project is focused on data analysis and project management. Key Requirements: - Strong experience in Windows desktop application development - Familiarity with data analysis and project management tools - Proven track record in software development Your proposal should include: - Your relevant experience in Windows desktop application development - Any previous work that showcases your expertise in data analysis and project management tools - Your estimated timeline for completing this project - Your proposed approach to the project Please share your prior experience and examples of your work that align with our project needs. Your expertise in this area will be a key factor in our selection...

I'm in need of a React UI developer who is highly proficient in CSS and Material UI. Your primary task will be to implement buttons, forms, and navigation bars. I'm looking for a very expert level of work, so if you consider yourself a beginner or intermediate, please do not apply. Key Requirements: - Proficiency in React and Material UI - Expertise in CSS, with a preference for clean and minimalist design - Experience in creating colorful and playful interfaces - Past experience working on similar projects is a plus I'm open to suggestions on how to improve the user interface, so feel free to share your ideas and expertise. Please include examples of your previous work when you bid.

I require a versatile content writer to produce a variety of content types for me. I need: - More than 10 pages of website content. This will be for a new website, so it's essential that the writer is able to help me create a professional image for my business. - Blog articles that have a primary goal of promoting my products or services. The writer should be able to create engaging content that not only attracts readers, but also encourages them to explore the products and services being offered. Ideal candidates for this job should have prior experience in writing website content and blog articles. Being able to understand and convey the tone of each content type is crucial. Knowledge of SEO practices and experience in creating content that converts are desirab...

I am in need of a designer who can recreate an artistic family tree in Illustrator. Here's what I require: - An aesthetic reflecting a vintage style. - You'll be working off a PNG/High Res tree that I'll provide. This has all the names already entered so working on it should be simple enough. - Given that I need this project completed ASAP, it's important that you're able to work quickly and efficiently without compromising in quality. Looking forward to your submissions.

I'm looking for a highly skilled data scientist to dive into a project that requires a strategic blend of data analysis, data modeling, and machine learning. Python proficiency is essential for this role, as it's the primary tool we will be using. Ideal Skills: - Python programming - Data analysis - Data modeling - Machine learning Despite the specifics of the dataset size and type being unclear, the candidate should have experience handling different scales and types of datasets. Your ability to adapt and work with varying datasets will be essential. Please be prepared to showcase similar past projects in your proposal.

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I'm searching for a skilled developer to perform the following tasks: - Link Firebase and Google Cloud Console to my Flutter app - Configure Firebase and Google Cloud Console to enable: - Data storage and retrieval - User authentication - Real-time updates - Ensure the Flutter app is compatible with both iOS and Android A proficiency in Flutter and PHP CodeIgniter is required. A deep understanding of Firebase and Google Cloud services is also necessary. Experience with successfully linking these platforms would be advantageous. I look forward to reviewing your bids for this specialist role.

I'm looking for a skilled professional who can set up and optimize Google Merchant Shopping Ads for my e-commerce website, Maxko.nl. I'm aiming to enhance my sales through this platform. Key Responsibilities: - Setting up Google Merchant Shopping Ads for - Conducting research on competitive keywords - Optimizing these ads to maximize ROI - Regularly monitoring and tweaking the campaigns for finer performance - Implementing conversion tracking to assess the effectiveness of the ads The ideal candidate should have: - A proven track record of setting up and managing Google Merchant Shopping Ads - Extensive experience in e-commerce and online marketing - Familiarity with 's e-commerce platform - Strong analytical and problem-solving skills - Demonstrable evidence of improvin...

I'm looking for a talented 3D mockup designer to help me create realistic visualizations. Your experience and creative input will be key to this process.

I'm looking to have a business-style logo designed for my tax business. The primary color I'd like to see integrated is green. Key Requirements: - Incorporate green as the primary color - Design a business-style logo - Include elements that symbolize trust and professionalism

As a business owner, I am in search of a freelance translator who specializes in interpreting academic documents pertaining to science. Key Responsibilities: - Transfer scientific jargon in academic work into clear, concise, and easy-to-understand language for business application. Skills and Experience Preferred: - A substantial background or keen interest in the scientific field. - Proven record of translating academic documents. - Exceptional comprehension of scientific terminologies and concepts. - A knack for turning industry-specific language into simplified, understandable content. Ultimately, I am searching for someone who can bridge the gap between academic science and business practicality. Your success in this role will be measured by the quality and accuracy of your trans...

I'm looking for a talented artist to create a series of crypto-themed meme art pieces. Key Requirements: - Style: Cartoonish - Usage: For social media content Ideal Expertise: - Strong command of cartoon art style - Creative flair for creating engaging meme content The art will be associated with crypto culture, so fa...media content Ideal Expertise: - Strong command of cartoon art style - Creative flair for creating engaging meme content The art will be associated with crypto culture, so familiarity with the latest trends, memes and/or iconic figures within the crypto space is a huge plus. The final pieces must be eye-catching and suitable for sharing on various social media platforms. If you have a knack for humor and can blend it with crypto themes, this project is p...

I'm looking for a talented blog writer to craft engaging and insightful weekly posts for my website, focusing on character development in the fantasy genre. Key Responsibilities: - Weekly blog posts: You will be required to write one post each week, centered around character development in fantasy writing. This will involve discussing techniques, examples, and tips for creating compelling characters within the genre. - Conversational Tone: The posts should be easy to read and engaging. A conversational tone that feels approachable and friendly is essential. Ideal Candidate: - Experienced Writer: You should have a strong background in writing, particularly in character development and/or fantasy writing. - Knowledge of the Fantasy Genre: An understanding of the conventi...

Hi, I need some active freelancers to help me to complete my project on the required information will be given.A test will be taken to accomplish the is the local Listing agent n are most welcome. Thanks

I'm seeking an experienced blog writer who can eloquently narrate my recent venture in the startup ecosystem. Aside from just recounting my experiences, the main focus will be to communicate these in a manner that's both educational and informative for my target audience - the general public who has a keen interest in startups. Key tasks will include: - Developing engaging blog content around my anecdotes - Conveying realities of starting up in an educational manner - Making complex aspects of running startups understandable to a non-technical audience. The perfect fit for this project would be a freelancer with a solid background in blogging or journalism about entrepreneurial journeys and startups, and capable of writing in an engaging, educational style. prior experi...

I'm in search of a skilled designer who can express their creativity in designing a cigarette package. -With complete creative freedom, we'll love to see your interpretation of a design that combines modern, vintage, and minimalistic styles. -The primary colors to use in the design are, red, black, gold, and white. Feel free to creatively incorporate them, as you deem fit. -A crucial design element to include is a flame symbol. This could be literally or metaphorically represented. Ideal skills and experiences include: - Prior packaging design - Interpretation of design briefs - Working with specified color palettes Aim to impress by showing us what unique blend you can bring to a cigarette package.

I'm in need of a highly creative, humorous writer to draft a script for my YouTube video focusing on video games. We're aiming particularly at the teen audience and our video will embrace facets of comedy and fun edits. Key aspects to consider: - Excellent understanding of video games, especially those popular among teens. - Ability to effectively incorporate humor and create engaging content. - Experience with video editing could also be advantageous to understand the intended fun edits. - Proficiency in English language and script writing. I look forward to your imaginative, amusing and youth-focused pitches.

I need an experienced blog writer to help me with regular posts for my author website. The ideal candidate will have a strong background in writing engaging content, particularly in the forms of book reviews and author interviews. Key Requirements: - Experience in creating or maintaining blogs - Ability to write in a casual and conversational tone - Familiarity with book review and interview formats Your responsibilities will include: - Producing one blog post per week - Writing engaging and well-structured book reviews - Conducting interviews with authors and turning them into engaging content Please provide samples of your previous work, especially those related to book reviews and author interviews.

I'm in need of a professional who can assist me in conducting a hybrid crowdfunding campaign. The project entails a mix of both rewards-based and donation-based crowdfunding. The campaign targets both the general public and businesses, hence, the successful candidate should be well-versed in managing campaigns that appeal to these groups. Key responsibilities and requirements for this project include: - Experience in managing successful rewards-based and donation-based crowdfunding campaigns. - Proficiency in targeting and engaging the general public and businesses. - A clear understanding and demonstrated ability of integrating both rewards and donation strategies into a single campaign. - Proven track record in cause marketing, ensuring that both business and charitable aspects ar...

I am looking for a talented writer to create poetry pieces based on personal experiences. The poems should have an inspirational tone. Key Requirements: - Experience in writing poetry, specifically with a focus on personal experiences. - Proficiency in creating inspirational content. - Able to convey deep emotions and experiences through words. Your poetry should be able to touch the reader’s heart and inspire them. I am looking for someone who can write in a way that connects with the audience on a personal level. A background in personal development, psychology, or similar fields would be a plus. Please provide samples of your previous poetry work.