Stupid jobs

It may be a completely stupid question, but is it possible to create semi transparent layer that can be applied to a background (color) to make it look like the attached image? If so, the job is to create the overlay in a 300 dpi quality and a size of 2500x2500 pixels.I guess you would have to out ins some white spots, and some (more or less) transparent black regions to make it work? I would like to be able to design such glitter images with different colors then by changing just the BG color.....

Hey I know some things about the Data General systems and the hard disk you are trying to retieve data from, this stupid free lancer wants me to update my skills before i can contact you, well it seems i have 0 chances left, I run a large computer repair facility from the early 80's and we did a number of systems including the Data general contact me

We believe this should be a very simple error to fix, what we get is the following error Server error The website encountered an error while retrieving It may be down for maintenance or configured incorrectly. We are using the avs or adult video script, uploading ...an error while retrieving It may be down for maintenance or configured incorrectly. We are using the avs or adult video script, uploading videos works fine and converting the thumbs is fine, but when we try to upload the pics or create categories we get that error which is weird as it did not before. This is probably something realy stupid and easy that we just arent seeing. Thank you and happy bidding.

THERE IS ANY SERIOUS GUY HERE? MY PROBLEM IS SIMPLE. FACEBOOK ALLOW YOU TO CHANGE NAME OF PAGE ONLY IF YOU HAVE LESS THAN 200 LIKES. I HAVE POSTED A PROJECT BEFORE AND 10 PEOPLE TRIED TO HELP ME AND TOLD ME TO GO ON UPDATE INFO AND CHANGE THE NAME. ARE YOU SERIOUS GUYS??? YOU THINK THAT I AM SO STUPID AND CANT DO IT MY SELF???? PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE 1800 LIKES AND THERE ISNT OPTION TO CHANGE NAME I AM OFFERING MORE THAN 10 DOLLARS IF SOMEONE CAN HELP ME. I REPEAT ONLY IF YOU KNOW SEND ME A PM. MY PAGE HAS MORE THAN 1800 LIKES!!

Please read carefully, ( and don't send me a stupid example of ) GENERAL: I need a slideshow for MOBILE ( iphone / ipad / android or any other devide where doesn't work Flash player .) This slideshow MUST work on iPhone and iPad and Android. ( that accept javascript - so the code is make only in javascript and simply HTML ) Project must work on iphone on versions 4 / 4s / 5 and on every iPad ( of course includind the iPad mini ) This slideShow must be somethink like this one: !i=1154047638&k=27T3fHW Please use iPad or iPhone to see this website. If you use a browser on PC you see a different version. ( they check your browser info ) If using the iPhone enter in normal

Topic is : Information Security Assignment has been uploaded. 1000 Words, you are given 1 week to complete. All references in Harvard style, Turnitin software will be used for legitimacy of work, no copying - original work only. BUZZ Word is : cake PLS say cake with bid. MUST HAVE SKYPE. Winner of task will receive all documents that will Help complete task. CHEAP BIDS, NO STUPID PRICES.

... Structurally, the functional code needs to be separate from the console (UI code). The parsing, downloading, unzipping, and db logic should be in a dll that is separate from the console exe. If you are thinking that this project should have fewer than 4 class files, I don’t think you are organizing it well. Performance is important to me. Understand data structures and strings. Don’t do stupid things with strings. Converting a 10MB+ file into a string, and then searching it is retarded. Don’t embarrass yourself. I like readable code. Assume I’m dumb. Tertiary operators are too complicated; use a full if – including curlies. Single character variables are okay in for loops and functions with 6 lines or less – and pretty much no o...

...about the industry in the comment area. - each comment should add some value to the discussion, while subtlety stating that you personally have used a service that solves the same problem described in the article; this should be done naturally and should not look contrived; I will also provide some examples of such comments - each comment must be unique, at least 4-5 phrases long - no generic/stupid comments please - the page must be at least PR2 or can be any PR if it is on a established site/blog (established site = min PR5 home page, min 5 years old) - the page must not already include a link the ecommerce site - should include just one link near the end of the comment; nofollow/dofollow both allowed; link can be raw URL - you will use a different name each time - you ...

...These customise classified able to appear on top/header, bottom/foot, any pages and at anytime we want, will not be there if do not have any classified uploaded. [if you do not understand this, we can discuss, this might be the task we going to test. it will not be an issue if you developed before, we priority those who had done similar module.] we do apologize for any inconvenient as we have stupid, idiots or developer-pretending or scammers or amateurs keep spamming. we need to enhance filtration for this matter. Thanks. We want to make friends with talented developers along the way at the same time. Payment gateway via iPay88(we have the account) [ optional and do not quote this into the project price, only tell us during the discussion as this is optional ] able to bui...

...Description: Informational based website without any order functionality This is meant to be a quick and easy 1.0 version of the website No future development considerations need to be in place for the website Contact us functionality exists Competitors: More examples will be provided to the winner Design Concept: Keep it simple stupid. Let’s go with the current trend of having highly simplistic, but graphic/picture/icon/mnemonic rich design. Consider the services that we provide to come up with a purposeful design. For example: Site Map: Home Page Services Pricing Hong Kong Fulfillment About Us Contact Page Descriptions and Content Below. Page 1. Home Page Notes to designer:

Planning an amazon webstore for medical products. Have catalog of 2100 sku's from ...Have separate spreadsheet with my wholesale pricing by sku with my own added built in formula for my sell price for each sku. Willing to manually enter site pricing but also willing to have someone integrate that as well. Also some items are Rx and I need those left out or manually removed (spreadsheet has column for if its Rx it says Rx in that cell.) I'm new to e-commerce so some patience and stupid question answering will be needed. Starting out basic with store design. Startup with tiny budget but hope to have many more needs over next year. Will eventually need full XML streams from multiple distributors for about 15000 sku's and full website design / it support. Wanting t...

Dear Max, Would you be prepared to enhance Page Monitor for a fee ? Go to Click on the column header for "Buyer Rate" a couple of times so the column is sorted with highest value at the top. I have another Chrome extension refreshing this page every 2 minutes. I ne...of times so the column is sorted with highest value at the top. I have another Chrome extension refreshing this page every 2 minutes. I need your program to beep at me when the first value in the "Buyer Rate" exceeds 9.6% (or better still, let me change that value from time to time). May I have a quote to code this please ? I am happy to let others enjoy the benefit. I have shown a stupid low budget price just to complete the form so please ignore. Steve

...information. The user can also place orders (only if the restaurant has uploaded their menu) and make reservations (if the restaurants has that option turned "on"). Things are working fairly well but there are several bugs that I need fixed as soon as possible! Please note******* I did not program the website or phone app.... I know the login to get to the files. I have the latest iphone code. I am no stupid, I will not be taken advantage of, I understand computers, but I do not understand the back-end stuff and the php stuff. You will need to look at the code and figure out the errors. I believe this is programmed in the .PHP language. When all is done, I will need help submitting the new iphone code to the app store. The errors that need fixed are: 1) I need an ema...

I have an Image Magick script that merges images from 1 folder with a template from another folder then saves the output into a new folder. The script is broken. I need someone to fix it asap within 1-2 hours. You must be able to work right away. The script is ...from 1 folder with a template from another folder then saves the output into a new folder. The script is broken. I need someone to fix it asap within 1-2 hours. You must be able to work right away. The script is attached, please check it out/upload it to your server and see for yourself exactly how it works and the issue - and let me know if you can do it. This project is NOT $250, no stupid bids. Don't waste your time or mine. Please quote JELLY in bid/PMB so I know you have read all this information...

...about the industry in the comment area. - each comment should add some value to the discussion, while subtlety stating that you personally have used a service that solves the same problem described in the article; this should be done naturally and should not look contrived; I will also provide some examples of such comments - each comment must be unique, at least 4-5 phrases long - no generic/stupid comments please - the page must be at least PR2 or can be any PR if it is on a established site/blog (established site = min PR5 home page, min 5 years old) - the page must not already include a link the ecommerce site - should include just one link near the end of the comment; nofollow/dofollow both allowed; link can be raw URL - you will use a different name each time - you ...

Hi! I need a little help: I just bought the iPhone and Android APP from Uniprogy: They sent me the open project. I don`t get the apps working! ZXing needs to be implemented in both APPs (iphone and android) but I only get errors! The APP-Script is clean - I am just to stupid to get it working. So if we get together I will give you my teamviewer ID and you just fix it and open them in the simulator. That is all. Who can help me? I would give you my teamviewer-ID and you get the apps working in XCODE and Eclipse ( Android ). Everything is setted up properly on my mac - XCODE and Eclipse are on the actual version. I am a developler so no certificates need to be changes etc. I later - if it works proper in the simulator know how to

...attached to this consumer } function new_access_token($token, $consumer, $verifier = null) { // return a new access token attached to this consumer // for the user associated with this token if the request token // is authorized // shoul ...and probably others..and make shure that all the php work correctly by using a sandbox paypal account. -The tpv integration API...same than paypal -A stupid e-mails sending bug. (Actualy the platform send emails through the server, but when an user register or try to contact us, the platform does not send attached the content of the any email). -The admin panel right now is in Spanish. There is a file .po that contain all the text in english, and it should work only by configuring the and the database...but it is not working yet...

As the title says, I am looking for someone who has the ability to provide me a steady stream of REAL, ACTIVE, US fans. I am looking for people who will actually like my status, share my information, ETC. To make it easier for you to estimate your price, I am a hip-hop artist. I have talent, and people like my music. I am looking to start with 10k, and I will ask to te...stream of REAL, ACTIVE, US fans. I am looking for people who will actually like my status, share my information, ETC. To make it easier for you to estimate your price, I am a hip-hop artist. I have talent, and people like my music. I am looking to start with 10k, and I will ask to test the quality beforehand. If you know your quality isn't what I'm asking for, please don't bid, because I'm n...

I need someone who is familiar with A records to instruct me how to set-up my domains in my server host control panel correctly for mail and spf. The website test I did works but the email doesn't and there is an SPF error so I did something wrong. This is not Windows DNS this is simply a DNS forwarder with my hosting company. no stupid bids, I just need someone who knows ALL about DNS to tell me which records I need to add ie MX, A, CNAME etc

...the testing of the website must be undertaken by yourselves. I will check the whole site when it is finished and suggest any modifications. bug fixes if I find any that you miss. The website must also work on all browsers. It is also preferred that the website also works on devices such as Ipad's, Iphones and other mobile devices. I think that covers most of the basic details. I do not want stupid excessively expensive prices to do this. It is not a huge job. I want a realistic price for a good job. This website is one that I made myself just as an experiment. I suck at website design and implementation. But you can basically see what I am looking to achieve: maltaweekly (dot) com/ shoppingcart I will communicate with the winner through any normal system like Skype ...

Stupid system here, tried to send your message ,but system said: You cannot message the employer as their project has been awarded to another freelancer. Please discuss the project development in under this umbrella.

I need 450 facebook photo likes on the following photo They can be spread out over 3 days at a rate of 150 per day NOT FASTER I only have $6 in my account, don't ask for more. I'm not adding money to my account for this. They need to be all USA names and USA accounts. I DO NOT want duplicate profile pictures, stupid names, fake looking accounts, absolutely no names in different languages or from different countries. If I get even 1 single name from another country I will dispute the charges and get my money back.

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I am looking for an experienced web designer who can take my phot...designer who can take my photoshop art mockups and create a website that matches them identically. I have web hosting, a site, and all the building blocks, I just need someone to put the pieces together. It's not a large website, only 5 pages or so. If you do well, there will be more work in your future. You must: - be available to meet over Skype - be EXTREMELY fluent in English. I'm not stupid, if you're from southeast Asia and can't even form a sentence, don't try to fool me into thinking you are a fluent or native speaker. - be willing to make changes and updates based on my perception of your product - be willing to meet deadlines To apply, show me a little of your work a...

...These customise classified able to appear on top/header, bottom/foot, any pages and at anytime we want, will not be there if do not have any classified uploaded. [if you do not understand this, we can discuss, this might be the task we going to test. it will not be an issue if you developed before, we priority those who had done similar module.] we do apologize for any inconvenient as we have stupid, idiots or developer-pretending or scammers or amateurs keep spamming. we need to enhance filtration for this matter. Thanks. We want to make friends with talented developers along the way at the same time. Payment gateway via iPay88(we have the account) [ optional and do not quote this into the project price, only tell us during the discussion as this is optional ] able to bui...

...about the industry in the comment area. - each comment should add some value to the discussion, while subtlety stating that you personally have used a service that solves the same problem described in the article; this should be done naturally and should not look contrived; I will also provide some examples of such comments - each comment must be unique, at least 4-5 phrases long - no generic/stupid comments please - the page must be at least PR2 or can be any PR if it is on a established site/blog (established site = min PR5 home page, min 5 years old) - the page must not already include a link the ecommerce site - should include just one link near the end of the comment; nofollow/dofollow both allowed; link can be raw URL - you will use a different name each time -...

i'm currently working with chinese people and we have hottest product in the world. Apple please open the attachment on this thread/Post i have attached it. There is the price list of our product. Our payment method is Paypal, West...attachment on this thread/Post i have attached it. There is the price list of our product. Our payment method is Paypal, Western Union and Money Gram. i deliver this product to the client with DHL 3-4 delivery Time. we need ebay reseller with great feedback from USA so you can sell this product. you can't sold this product if you are not an US ebay seller. i will not waste my time with stupid people who bid without thinking. and don't ask me to pay for your listing fee. if you want to make money do some sacrisfied. don&#...

...Copied content will be not tollerate... If only one copied post will be found, will not be counted 500 post you write, or I will dispute the milestone. I'm searching a perfect worker for this task, becouse will be long term work, but only if you will be honest you will keep this work, if you don't have this purpose and you want be crafty sending copied posts, know that I'm a good person but not stupid, so don't loose your time becouse I will not pay and I will dispute the milestone. Copied post destroy the rank of a site so if you damage me I will not pay your work. This is write on the project, so will be like this. If you will be honest and a good researcher to do very good this job, you are welcome and you will be treaty good and have a shure work, be...

...Copied content will be not tollerate... If only one copied post will be found, will not be counted 500 post you write, or I will dispute the milestone. I'm searching a perfect worker for this task, becouse will be long term work, but only if you will be honest you will keep this work, if you don't have this purpose and you want be crafty sending copied posts, know that I'm a good person but not stupid, so don't loose your time becouse I will not pay and I will dispute the milestone. Copied post destroy the rank of a site so if you damage me I will not pay your work. This is write on the project, so will be like this. If you will be honest and a good researcher to do very good this job, you are welcome and you will be treaty good and have a shure work, be...

I am looking for somebody who can sell advertising space on my Aquarium themed website. The advertising space is fairly cheap (about $10 or so per 250 x 250 slot) and should be easy to sell. I do not want any adult products, pharmaceutical prod...space on my Aquarium themed website. The advertising space is fairly cheap (about $10 or so per 250 x 250 slot) and should be easy to sell. I do not want any adult products, pharmaceutical products or gambling websites advertised on my websites. All you need to do is find people willing to buy my advertising space send them my way, I will deal with adding their adverts etc. Please no stupid bids or people not seriously wanting this job. Please mention the word "aquarium" in your bid so I know you have read all ...

Hi I would like a website developed that allows people to sell their themes and extensions on my site. The website must use MAGENTO and must have functionality like themeforest or mojo-themes.com. If you have not used magento do not bid on this project. My budget is 400 usd so don't bid anything stupid.

... in terms of everything, from front page to 2nd page to navigation and so on. If you know what you are doing and can just use it as a comparison. I dont think i need to say anything else. On a side note, If theres anything which is not similar to I will give you the idea which part to edit and design again until it is what it seems to be. I wont make any stupid request, only if its obviously something wrong and different compare to Please read carefully. DO NOT bid unless you are good in prestashop and know what you are doing and achieve requirement process to insure checkout is created and modifications are done beyond my exceptions. NO novice programmers ALLOWED!! Don't message me as auto response, read

Hi I have a xxxxxx company. We would like to redesign our xxxx catalog and website and Logo. I would like to know how long it takes to complete the design ? How much it will cost ? Note Please do not reply me this kind stupid email. Hello There, We hope you are doing well, We have reviewed your requirement and discussed with our designing/development team its 100% under our experience. Please have a look at our portfolio that we are working & few recently completed ecommerce shopping cart Projects:

I'M GOING TO SEND 250K-500K EMAIL TO OUR CLIENT I HAVE THE LIST DON'T HAVE TO WORRY I NEED FREELANCER WITH GOOD FEEDBACK AND DON'T BOTHER ME WITH STUPID ANSWER OR QUESTION I DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT SMTP OR ANYTHING. WE JUST GOING TO SEND EMAIL TO THEM THAT'S IT DON'T BID HIGH COZ WE ARE NEW HERE.

... The program must be able to detect when the user is aiming at a ball and draw an extended guideline from the ball being aimed at. The line being drawn should guess where the ball will go. This is a very simple program. An example of the program I am asking you to build is here and Do not send me your stupid profile of work you did, I do not care at all. In your message after you bid start out the message with this word "Frog". This lets me know you are reading this description. Any users that bid and do not follow these instructions will be rejected.. Also put how you plan to put this project into action, if this is not in your bidding message you will also be rejected. Deadline is 7 days.

i'm currently working with chinese people and we have hottest product in the world. Apple please open the attachment on this thread/Post i have attached it. There is the price list of our product. Our payment method is Paypal, West...attachment on this thread/Post i have attached it. There is the price list of our product. Our payment method is Paypal, Western Union and Money Gram. i deliver this product to the client with DHL 3-4 delivery Time. we need ebay reseller with great feedback from USA so you can sell this product. you can't sold this product if you are not an US ebay seller. i will not waste my time with stupid people who bid without thinking. and don't ask me to pay for your listing fee. if you want to make money do some sacrisfied. don&#...

The stupid website ignores periods, that's why it was $882. Terrible. I'm trying to fix it...costs me money. Terrible website.

freelancer.com prevented me from contacting you because i awarded the job to someone else i used before they say i can only contact the winning bidder ? stupid site but i'm still in need for other logos Can you give me couple more ideas?

...character who is immediately recognisable as a complete idiot / buffoon / moron. A character on the edge of disaster who has no conception or idea of possible outcomes repercussion of actions undertaken. A character that is completely clueless to everything including things nearby and or at a distance. Here are some random thoughts to get you thinking. Use if you like. Some who is so stupid they could walk on razor blades and think they are steps. A donkey head. An ass. An ass partly submerged in a hole. A character caught in the headlights of a train. A character whose thought cloud is his missing brain? The greatest incompetent idiot you could ever regret to encounter. A character that epitomises the characteristics described. Various situations / variation...

...details about the industry in the comment area. - each comment should add some value to the discussion, while subtlety stating that you personally have used a service that solves the same problem described in the article; this should be done naturally and should not look contrived; I will also provide some examples of such comments - each comment must be unique, at least 4-5 phrases long - no generic/stupid comments please - the page must be at least PR2 or can be any PR if it is on a established site/blog (established site = min PR5 home page, min 5 years old) - the page must not already include a link the ecommerce site - should include just one link near the end of the comment; nofollow/dofollow both allowed; link can be raw URL - you will use a different name each time - you ...

...communicates with the Rails server for asynchronous updates; AngularJS framework is used to manage browser-side MVC. A big part of AngularJS is how it is supposed to be easy to test, is ideal for test-driven development, etc. I like to have self-checking tests for every feature I implement. But, I've been stumbling on how to make this work with my AngularJS code. It's making me feel pretty stupid. I already have other parts of my site working using Rails and JQuery. I have self-checking tests via both Jasmine for my other JavaScript and RSpec for my Rails code. I just haven't figured out how to make self-checking tests for the new functionality. This project has two parts: 1) Download and get running the example Rails/AngularJS "Seed" pr...

...details about the industry in the comment area. - each comment should add some value to the discussion, while subtlety stating that you personally have used a service that solves the same problem described in the article; this should be done naturally and should not look contrived; I will also provide some examples of such comments - each comment must be unique, at least 4-5 phrases long - no generic/stupid comments please - the page must be at least PR2 or can be any PR if it is on a established site/blog (established site = min PR5 home page, min 5 years old) - the page must not already include a link the ecommerce site - should include just one link near the end of the comment; nofollow/dofollow both allowed; link can be raw URL - you will use a different name each time - you ...

...about the industry in the comment area. - each comment should add some value to the discussion, while subtlety stating that you personally have used a service that solves the same problem described in the article; this should be done naturally and should not look contrived; I will also provide some examples of such comments - each comment must be unique, at least 4-5 phrases long - no generic/stupid comments please - the page must be at least PR2 or can be any PR if it is on a established site/blog (established site = min PR5 home page, min 5 years old) - the page must not already include a link the ecommerce site - should include just one link near the end of the comment; nofollow/dofollow both allowed; link can be raw URL - you will use a different name each time -...

I need a logo designed for the site This site will be a blog about people in the news who have done stupid things....losers lol People can nominate anyone and users can blog about the posts, and vote to see who becomes the "World's Biggest Loser" I am looking to start ASAP and would like to hear your ideas if you decide to bid on this small project.

Dear Freelancers, The project is about a customized webshop so not a standaard magento, but you can use it as a base. The site needs to be in three languages, Dutch, English and German. The site needs to be on a secure connection. The site must be developed according the KISS formula ( Keep It Stupid Simple). All good positions must be maintained from the current url. In addition, good planning must be made to get our new site on the first position with the most important main keywords. These are to be determined. Here are a couple of sites that we like: , we find this one a little bit to busy , nice quiet look and feel It’s a must that we can edit the images and text ourselfs. We want a references system

Dear Freelancer users. We are interested on Real human Likes to our fan page. The target has to be from Norway. Please do not bid stupid bids because last time we had like we give USa bids and such biders. We want serious bidders that will bring human likes from norway. No spam or fake account likes. We need 25.000 Likes from Norway

Hi, i need one million (1.000.000) safe YouTube Views. YouTube aren't stupid!!! The Views have to be 100% SAFE!!! I dont want to get my Channel banned!

...create a new one it is broken. So if you can fix the post template, that would be great. I need this done in a few hours MAX! =============================== WARNING: Don't bid if you can't do it in a few hours or I will leave you negative feedback. =============================== Wordpress Fixes ----------------------- 1. Fix my template. Last coder broke my template. Stupid guy. He did such a bad job that even a new post that I create appears broken. Can you fix my 'Post' Template? Please do several 'tests' to make sure this template is solid and doesn't break. * Make sure everything is aligned * Make sure the title of the post appears in nice format. The last moron coder deleted it. * Remove the com...

...Copied content will be not tollerate... If only one copied post will be found, will not be counted 500 post you write, or I will dispute the milestone. I'm searching a perfect worker for this task, becouse will be long term work, but only if you will be honest you will keep this work, if you don't have this purpose and you want be crafty sending copied posts, know that I'm a good person but not stupid, so don't loose your time becouse I will not pay and I will dispute the milestone. Copied post destroy the rank of a site so if you damage me I will not pay your work. This is write on the project, so will be like this. If you will be honest and a good researcher to do very good this job, you are welcome and you will be treaty good and have a shure work, be...

I am launching a new crowdfunding donation base platform, , it is mainly working but I have some issues that need some work. -the paypal integration API -The tpv integration API -and a stupid emails sending bug. (Actualy the platform send emails through the server, but when an user register or try to contact us, the platform does not send any email). It is an open source code, and If you want, you can see the code, at with the documentation and other stuff thanks, JOrdi