mailing list to go without being seen as spam

ok i have a php mailing program now i to which has about 30,000 clients on i cant get it to pick up the other 10,000 it says delimitors are not correct or something i am 50 and a total novice i just push buttons now i wrote a message to advertise the web site [login to view URL] which you will need to look at to understand the add i want. not the message i sent out was 2000 emails and i on purpose included my own office home and sons email on it as well. well the result was all went right in to the spam box so was completely useless, the job is to get all 40,000 emails on the same program and save as one file as a backup, and a message being made saying what i want to say which will get to the client without going right into his spam box first. my son normally does all this but he is away in the army now if you read this then add the word tonka in your bid as i am fed up with people bidding without bothering to read what the job is, any without it will beignored